The Sads

I’m struggling. Last week I finally realized, oooohhhh I see what’s going on here. I have a touch of the depression. Come home from work, right into pajamas. If I am not forced to do something on the weekends you bet your ass I’m in bed watching Friends for the thousandth time. Earlier this week I was at the grocery store and when I saw the wine and said to myself (or out loud who can say?) EH. I knew it must be bad then. When you don’t even feel like drinking the sads away it’s time for a self intervention.

After I realized what’s going on I thought about trying anti depressants but then I thought I should try what I know first. I KNOW diet and exercise helps, writing, reading, creating new habits,  all of it. I KNOW. It’s kind of like telling someone who is at the bottom of a deep dark hole to just get out if you’re unhappy. SUPER HELPFUL. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT? JUST WALK OUT! This is all me talking to myself by the way. So I am trying to claw my way out of the hole. It is TINY steps let me tell you. Like doing the dishes in the evening instead of leaving them for the next day so I can just get back in bed earlier. Yesterday I made a bargain with myself, ok lay down and play ONE game on your phone and then go get the laundry. When the game was over I tried to sweet talk myself into just one more but I held firm and got the laundry. Little victories!

I don’t feel like myself and for anyone who’s been around it ain’t you, it’s me. I’m trying and I’m sure I’ll get there one tiny victory after another.