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March 28, 2008

So we have been trying to buy a house and yesterday I found out it’s not happening. I am really sad and mad and I hate it. So Bill asked me how I feel and the word is unsettled. I feel unsettled. I don’t want to bother doing anything because why really move into a place you just have to move out of?
Then he asked a bigger question, have you ever felt settled?
The answer is no. Oh my god, I have never in my life felt settled. Is that weird? Does anyone? Are we supposed to?
That’s what I want. I want to feel settled. I want to feel connected to a place. I want something that feels like mine. I want to want to be in a place. I want to love it and make it someplace warm. I want my kids to feel settled.
How the hell do I do that?

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