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nyc and me

May 21, 2008

Nyc and Me

Well it’s been officially one year since ny and I began this relationship. I always feel like I have mixed feelings about ny. I can never quite figure it out, but I think with each visit we get each other more and more. There is a cover of anonymity here that I crave. I don’t really want to be alone anywhere else but here. It’s easy to get lost here and forget what you were ever doing before you arrived at e 45th and Madison.
Sometimes I hate it here. I hate the walking, the hurry, and the big to do everything has to be. Everything is a struggle and a strategy and you wonder why the hell you need to even bother. It could be so much simpler if. If, there is always an if. Sometimes I love it here. I love the peace I feel wandering through central park and I love when you come out of the subway and you realize it’s not raining anymore.
On our one-year anniversary of meeting I took some time to really get to know nyc a little more. I have been here countless times in the past year, but this time was different. I stopped and listened. I opened my eyes and finally took a real look around. I walked the streets and for the first time kind of got it, suddenly it feels comfortable.
Leaving is always bittersweet. Nyc implants itself into you somehow and leaves an impression, a stamp on you somewhere like you are better for having known this place. I know I have to get back to my real world and there are things I want to get back to but part of me clings and feels a little homesick for a place I have never even called home.
So nyc and me we have an understanding that we can probably never really be, but I think we both know that it will always be more than just a visit.

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