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The 2008 Roasting of the Oxen

July 21, 2008

It started off with a stop into the Haylett’s on 82. I needed to get some cash so I could eat all the fair food at the Ox Roast. So I go in and locate the ATM and the cashier was leaning up against the wall and as I walk up she says How’s it going? I said alright and try to figure out the atm because all the information on the buttons has been rubbed off and I don’t know which button says what. She then says, it’s hot. I didn’t respond right away and then in a devilish growl she says again HHHHHOOOOOOOTTTTT. So I said, don’t they have air conditioning in here? She goes into a rant about how the air is set on 72 but it’s 78 and the owners were told when they bought the air conditioner that it wouldn’t be big enough but they didn’t care because it was cheaper and they weren’t going to be the ones working at the store sweltering so they didn’t care. I grabbed my $20 and jammed it out of there and on my way out I saw a guy coming in and I heard her say, DUDE, **devilish voice** DDDUUUUDDDDDEEEEE.

We get to the high school and had to pay the cheerleaders 3 bucks to park a million miles from the fair which sucks and then we walked through the woods and up to the glorious ox roast. There was a band onstage taking their job very seriously the lead signer had scarfs wrapped around the mic stand like steven tyler and the guitarist was very jack black in pick of destiny. The were having a time boy. I almost had a run in with price valiant running the pierogi stand so I had to hide. I saw a few people from school but I didn’t talk to anyone. I just came for the lemonade and fries anyway. There are a weird mix of people that go. I saw a girls entire red bra (im pretty sure she was 14), hillbillies with no teeth, girls that thought they lived in the OC, some of those boys who were the huge black pants with chains and stinky old black band tee shirts, parents being dragged around by their kids because they wanted to go on more rides while the parents only wish was to be left alone in the beer tent, and an announcer lady who narrated the entire fucking night who sounded exactly like Roseanne and never stopped talking the entire night. You know that lady probably goes to that church and sits around gossiping about other people that go to the church all day long.
What the hell is a damn tractor pull and why do people sit in bleachers and watch this?

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