Welcome to High Point

High Point NC is the furniture capitol of the world so they say. I think it’s more of a warehouse of furniture from China. It’s really just gross. Gone are the days of the good ol boys in suits coming through to buy furniture (made here in North Carolina and sold here in North Carolina) for their stores and here are the designers in high heels looking for cheap and the same all the while saying we want GREEN things. Green things are not made in China my friend and how GREEN is it to buy cheap ass shit that you throw away in less than 5 years when a new trend comes through and you need redecorate. ANYWAY…

Here at the furniture show they like to hand out free alcohol every single night all over the place. My night started around 5:30 when I got a martini (vodka 3 olives). I hung out with my new friend Doug Miller until about 7 when our other boothmate Rich Hawk came back and we decided to go to one of the parties. On the way out we met up with Strauss and Dominica and all headed to the party together. They were handing out beer there so we all got some, then we ventured down the hall to discover ABSINTHE!! I have always wanted to try that so we all got some and stood around this weird art installation with ladies made from gum and tootsie rolls. Let me say that absinthe is good if you love good and plentys which I do. Then we discovered a chalk board and the logical thing to do was draw penis pictures. I am going to go ahead and include dougs drawing here.

Please tell me why it has dorsals.

Then Strauss gets the bright idea to go to his friend Scott Morgans house. Scott is probably in his 60’s, old furniture guy who has literally been everywhere and brought pieces back with him that litter his entire house. Every single time I’ve seen him I have heard him say come on over and take a sauna. Anyway, we all go there however we’re in a van with only two seats which means this happens. Bunch of fools in a cargo van.

So we get to Scotts and the first thing that happens is I fell right out of  the back of the van. Hello muddy knee nice to see you.

Then we all pile into the house, I somehow lost strauss and dominica and found myself in a den of older men smoking medicinal grade pot because scott is fighting cancer and has a script.

Anyway, he showed us his museum of a house, hippies talked of energy and I ended up here, alone.

So this is my new friend Doug and I. He’s totally adorable and I’d totally have a crush on him if he didn’t think that making footballs out of real tiger skin sounds like a great idea.