Fucking Jack Off….literally

Yesterday was quite traumatizing.

At 12:45 pm a really strange man walked into Salty and announced loudly “I’m just looking!”, which was weird in itself. I actually sent Bill a text saying I had a real weirdo in the store. He was probably later 50’s, sort of slow looking, shuffling around using a cane and looking around the store with his giant thick ass glasses and lazy eye. Around the same time another guy walked in and was looking around as well. After about 10 mins the normal dude left the store leaving me all alone with Creepy Mcgee. I was sitting at the Salty desk working on entering in sales and he was standing 2 tables away from me. Next thing I know he’s standing next to me. He started to make small talk, weather, the neighborhood, then he asked what time I closed which didn’t seem scary until later. As we were talking I happened to look down to see his penis hanging out of his pants and dripping. My first thought was he must be retarded and unaware his business is out. He quickly left the store after I noticed this. As he walked in, a girl who works in the neighborhood stopped by for a chat and as I was trying to explain what I had seen I looked over to where he was standing and realized that he must have been jacking off while we were talking and I didn’t know because he left a whole god damn deposit on my floor.

That poor girl witnessed a complete Candra Squire MELTTHEFUCKDOWN. I was beyond freaked out and after the freak out came the terrified stage. I know it seems like jacking off isn’t that big of a deal but it totally feels invasive, violent, and threatening. It reminded me how vulnerable I really am. I wouldn’t have been able to fight that guy off if he would have tried to attack me, or any man for that matter- and that’s not an easy thing to think about. I’m sort of afraid to be alone now and that sucks.

I filed a report with the police and they most likely won’t find the dude right away but I think they will eventually because there is no way this was that guys first or last time. I hope the next time he does it someone takes that cane out of his dirty hand and shoves it right up his butt and while that’s happening I also hope  a dirty bum comes in and jacks off all over his face.