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Curious Case of UAP and Jessica Simpson

February 4, 2009

I’m trying to sleep and I can’t. I just keep thinking about Jessica Simpson’s Ugly Ass Pants and how everyone is saying she is fat. Let’s get real people, Jessica in real life is probably a size 4 which can never be fat. She also has huge boobs which make a girl look heavier than she is. The real problem here, ok the 2 real problems here were 1. She was playing the chili cook off somewhere which is just embarrassing, and 2. she had on ugly ass pants that she should have never worn. I mean no one needs to wear pants in public like that. Yes, I’m going to say it right here that generally all my pajama pants come up to my nipples but I ain’t going out like that. No one needs to see any of this camel toe ok. Jessica just needs some cute jeans and a flowy top. Does that bitch need a stylist? I can help. I know where she can get some excellent hoodie sweatshirts.

And pajama pants.

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