i might be secretly judging you

it’s nothing personal though.

I’m hoping that after I list the things I know I secretly judge people on that I will stop doing it. It’s not a problem, I don’t take it too far but it’s dumb and not meant out of meanness if I may use that term.

I may judge you if:

1. You just had a baby and leave it with a babysitter to go out. I do this because It wasn’t until my last baby was 6 months old that I ever left my kids. I sat in a house with my kids for almost 5 years. At that point I honestly felt like Rosie O’Donnel was my friend. It got bad.
2. You have money. I’m just mad I ain’t got SHE-AT. And by SHE-AT I mean shit.
3. You have a college degree. That’s on account of me being in school for 1000 years and still not having a clue as to what the hell im in school for.
4. You’re skinny. Im not. That’s simple.
5. You have perfect hair, make-up, and nails. I don’t know how to have any of these things. I have a twisty knot of hair everyday, no idea on the make-up and I bite my fake nails.
6. You have a book deal. Have you seen some of the damn books out there? Come on man. 
7. You’re married to a hot funny dude. I have to wonder what he sees in you.
8. You have no kids and can travel the world fancy free.
9. You own a house. I don’t own a house. I came to the game too late. I shoulda got one while they were giving em out with the purchase of a toaster.
10. You have any actual talent because I possess none.

So I’d just like to say if I’ve ever secretly judged you, I’m sorry. It’s all out of jealousy and that’s BS.