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Mommas PLEASE let your babies grow up to be cowboys!

May 31, 2009

My friend is struggling with something a lot of women are struggling with. The quest to find a nice gentleman. The elusive man who holds the door open for you, walks around to open your car door, pays for your dinner, and does not expect you to blow him on your first date. Do they really exist anymore? Are all men just stupid, slobbering crybabies?

We get it men, we get it. You’re hungry, you want your balls licked, you like porn. If you want to do all that all you have to do is be a nice gentleman. Ask a lady on a proper date. I don’t know what has made you all think that posting your small stupid looking penis on craigslist with an ad that says who wants to ride this? Give me a call. is what you need to do to find a woman. You see a nice lady, ask her ass to dinner. Bring her some flowers to the door and open her fucking car door. How is that going to hurt you? The way I see it, you’re just working your way up to getting her right where you want her. Naked except for a french maid apron. 
Don’t expect her to have sex with you within the first few times you see her. Stop thinking about it every second and actually listen to what she says. If you aren’t listening have the common decency to fucking act like it.

Ladies I think i’ve stumbled upon a great way to find a nice man. We have to scout out the parents. If you find a mother with an available son and sit down and talk to her you can tell what kind of asshole or cowboy her kid is. When the mom tells you her son is perfect and never has a bad word to say you know that boy is damaged ass goods and might as well marry his mom because NO ONE will ever compare to that bitch and she has ruined his ass by letting him get away with murder as a kid, catering to him, doing his laundry, and granting his every wish. Run away from that house.

On the other hand if you meet a mother that has criticisms of her son your ears should perk up. Mothers that say things like, he really needs to get a better job and buy a house. My son needs to settle down. My son was just here the other day fixing my car and he didn’t even stay long enough to visit with me. My son cuts my grass… Then you know you need to have a meeting with this man. This man, fixes shit, cuts his moms grass and HAS A JOB. That’s someone worth meeting. 
So a word to men, wash your own laundry, cut the grass and learn how to fix your damn car or make enough money to be able to pay someone else to do it. Stop being a pig and go on some nice dates and stop posting your cock all over the Internet.

Ladies, seek the mothers.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 31, 2009 10:19 am

    So you married Wild Bill? You are forgetting, there are a lot of women out there that do not like to be challenged. Cowboys break rules and don’t like to follow. Cowboys lead and for some women that is OK, but not every lady likes to follow. Just saying.

  2. kipp permalink
    May 31, 2009 10:21 am

    There is still some of us men out here who puts friendship and companionship over sex

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