Vag Med and Rum Goes Hand in Hand

I think my head will fall right off if one more person in a customer service position can’t understand a sense of humor. I get it man, I’ve been in retail. Dealing with the public really truly just blows ass all kinds a ways. I swear to holy lord jesus I am delightful and hilarious. Why do these people not understand me? Making jokes in the McD drive thru should brighten their horrendous day wouldn’t you think?

Yesterday whilst at the Target Pharmacy getting some vag med and lime rum I made a comment that it was mojito monday and the girl looked at me like a rock with eyes. Slowly she said whaaa? I said, it’s a tasty rum drink. She says, is that everywhere? I never heard of it. Lady, I’m making fucking mojitos and it happens to be Monday and they both start with M. Have we ever been to an English class where they talk of alliteration? Or even in a shitty bar where they say things like Get Toasted Tuesday! This went awkwardly on for like a long painful full minute until I took my script and rum and got the hell out of there.

Next time I am in public and have to deal with someone I vow to make no jokes, look straight ahead even if that’s not the direction the person I am talking to is in and speak slowly and clearly and possibly in the fashion of a robot and see if that get’s me anywhere because obviosly being charming is not working for me.