List of Shit

List of Shit

(you probably don’t care about)

1. If there’s a shit ton of traffic, just turn right and then turn around so you don’t wait hopefully like someone is going to stop traffic so you can pull out. It’s not going to happen, bite the friggin bullet and just turn twice. Jesus.

2. Go to Wal-Mart only in case of an emergency. How is it that one store can attract what looks to be the literal BOTTOM OF THE BARREL? Seriously have you EVER been in there when it wasn’t necessary to take someones picture and put it up on the people of wal mart blog?

3. Get to the damn movies no less than 20 mins ahead of time. Why do you want to have to haul ass into the show missing all the good previews and sitting next to some nose whistler? Why? and speaking of the movies…

4. When at the movies don’t sit next to a stranger unless its a sold out show. There is NO REASON you must sit down next to me when there are plenty of seats that aren’t next to me. What kind of weirdo SEEKS OUT a seat next to a stranger? serial killers and aspergers people. Neither of which you want next to you for movie time.

5. When at a toll booth do not treat it as your personal fucking information booth. You’re allowed this much, HI, HOW MUCH? THANKS and then move your under crowed SUV ass out of the line.

6. SUV DRIVERS. Why? Do you have 3 kids? hmmm no doesn’t look that way. Do you drive senior citizens around to appointments? doesn’t smell like old man pee in here so no. Are you mexican with a large extended family who all pile in the car at once? no you’re a tiny white woman. Guess what? You’re also an asshole.