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7 ways Guys Try but Fail to Impress Girls

June 16, 2011

This is an article I found HERE

I am going to add my 2 cents to each thing.

Playing guitar
If you’re genuinely into the guitar and you’re a musically-incline individual, then by all means, play away. But if you picked up the guitar or joined a band because you thought girls would be into it, then think again. Sorry to break it to you, but we got over the “he’s so hot and plays the guitar” phase somewhere around tenth grade.

um no we didn’t get over it in 10th grade. If a man can play a guitar that’s all we need. Play that guitar my man, and play it gooood.

Drinking too much
We get it – you’re a boy, you can drink a lot. There’s really no need to demonstrate by ripping 10 tequila shots before you even make it to the bar. Best case scenario: you only say a few remotely embarrassing things before you end up passing out safely in your own bed (alone) at the end of the night. Worst case scenario: we’re holding you up and cleaning up your puke at the end of the night.

This is true. If I had to clean up and take care of a man puking I would feel even more like his mother than usual. No thanks jackass.

Constantly being shirtless
First of all, why is it that the guys who seem to be the most apposed to wearing shirts are the ones who really need to cover up the most? My general philosophy in life is, “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” So, by all means, if you’re at the beach, pool or even playing a shirts vs. skins game of basketball, then feel free. But other than that, you really shouldn’t feel the need to undress anytime a female enters a room. Leave something to the imagination…

I think if you have abs keep that shit underwraps, you don’t need the whole neighborhood seeing what you got. I’d like to be surprised when the shirt comes off later. If you don’t have the abs, by all means, keep the shirt off as much as possible. Let girls know, “hey I like tacos and beer”. Because guess what, girls also like tacos and beer.

Lying to impress the opposite sex is nothing new – both guys and girls are guilty of it. But fellas, you could take a couple of lessons from us on the art of lying to impress. Lesson #1: there’s a difference between lying and bending the truth. It’s ok to embellish a story, as long as it’s harmless and you can hold it up. But when you start making up huge, ridiculous stories to sound like “the man,” things can get sticky fast. Chances are, a mutual friend, if not you, will probably let your secret slip at some point.

Don’t lie at all. I don’t want to hear embellished bullshit. Truth is always the way to go. Plus it’s usually funnier. My husband is always brutally honest when it comes to telling me about the multiple times he’s shit his pants.

Wrestling with each other
I’ve never understood, nor will I ever understand, why guys choose to fight in front of girls, even when it’s just for fun. It’s a weird, barbaric ritual to try and prove your strength, but really it just makes us uncomfortable and makes you look immature.

Do it, I don’t care ! I just don’t want to hear about your sprained ankle later.

Purposefully being a douche bag
You think it’s impressive to act like a douche bag because you’ve heard girls say it a million times: “we have a thing for bad guys.” That being said, we’re not totally innocent here, but when I know you’re a genuinely good guy who’s just trying to be an ass to seem “cool,” then you just come off looking incredibly insecure.

I don’t think douche bags actually KNOW that they are in fact douche bags. Why would someone purposefully get a custom handmade cornhole board to with the sole purpose of looking douchey?

Talking about how hard you workout
We appreciate that you work hard to stay in shape, but it’s just odd to constantly talk about it. Instead of telling us how much you can bench press, why don’t you just let your good physique be the proof?

Yeah no one gives any kind of shit about how hard you work out. Know what we DO want to hear? How many fucking loads of laundry you got done in a day.

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