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This is not a love letter to men

March 1, 2012

I understand that most men are not nurturers by nature. I’m not asking to be babied and fucking rocked to sleep but is it that hard for a man to understand that if his girl is feeling sad maybe he should do SOMETHING – ANYTHING to attempt to bring a smile to her face? I am not asking for a court jester or presents just maybe some encouraging words, maybe a nice I know you’re feeling blue here’s a god damn gas station cookie I already had in my car but I’ll pretend like I thought it was your favorite and brought it to you because I love you.

Tips on what to do for your blue girl

1. If your girl is feeling down don’t ignore her like maybe magically she will perk up and want to give you a nice blow job. Even if she doesn’t feel like talking your presence is appreciated.

2. Give her reassurance. You might not have a clue why she’s feeling this way but telling someone that they’re amazing and you love them has never hurt.

3. Do something nice for her to remind her that sometimes you can be quite UNDOUCHEY.

4. Bring her a flower now and then. It doesn’t even have to be the fancy kind you buy at the grocery store that are next to  the helium happy birthday balloons, fucking pick one. If it’s winter make a god damn mini snowman and bring it to her. (If you KNOW for a fact the reason she’s sad has nothing to do with sex then by all means give the mini snowman a carrot wiener.)

5. The biggest thing to remember is that if you do things like this on a regular basis you may avoid the whole ordeal.

Boys treat your girls like they are the ONLY girl in the world.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 1, 2012 1:24 pm

    I love this post so much. So much.

  2. Andrew Samtoy permalink
    March 13, 2012 10:02 am

    Oh, this is why I’m single. Huh.

  3. Andrew Samtoy permalink
    January 17, 2013 1:13 pm

    I just reread this. I think that bringing a gas station cookie to a girl and pretending I thought it was her favorite is:

    1) a sign I was at least thinking of her;
    2) if not #1, it IS kind of funny and should put a smile on any girl’s face;
    3) a sharp move I will have to remember in the future.

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