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Hill & Cliffs

July 10, 2014

It’s no secret that these last few months have been crazy for me. Life is generally a series of never ending gently rolling hills like the ones they have where ever the hell the gently rolling hills are. Ups, downs, ups, downs… The first half of my 2014 has been more like the sharp edged cliffs of where ever the hell they have really high and really sharp edged cliffs with ocean waiting at the bottom.

The last half of 2014 I’ve decided to spend crawling back up that cliff inch by inch. I know that I will reach the top and I also know that when I get there there will be another eventual drop but I have faith it will be the gently rolling hill kind of drop.

Bill and I started therapy in April and agreed to a 12 weeks with her working on our marriage not knowing if we could come out on the other side still married. It was the one of the saddest times I’ve experienced so far in this life. Going to therapy isn’t an easy thing but the fact that we stayed together for 7 years before we stepped foot in that office really feels like a testament to our love because we did not know how to communicate pretty much at all. It’s amazing to dig in and find out more about each other and see your different thought processes and perceptions of situations. Our foundation was always there we just couldn’t see it anymore. We got lost and misled. The love was there it was just hidden in a fog.

Almost a month ago I had a – well i don’t really know what to call it. A wake up, a breakthrough, a break down, I don’t know. I’d just had it with the lifestyle we were living, going out every night, drinking, eating tacos, sleeping in late and then doing it again. We just stopped drinking (4 weeks on sunday! wooo) and while we did eat a lot of desserts that first week then we just stopped. We started walking like crazy people, eating the right foods and just generally taking care of the physical bodies like we are working on the mental parts. The time we are spending together now is more meaningful. No drunken fights, no black outs, no taco regret. We are taking full advantage of the summer weather and it feels great.

So here’s to love, the ability to evolve, and to faith that no matter what shit storm you’re in the middle of there will always be an end followed by a new beginning.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Andrew Samtoy permalink
    July 11, 2014 5:20 pm


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