Fare thee well 2014

In the past when I’ve written my end of the year wrap ups I would highlight the negatives with the positives and it always seems like people, including myself, say things like fuck off previous year you were shitty and here’s to a better new one. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’ve come up with every year will be bad and hard if you let it. Life will always bring you down but you only stay low if you want to. Change is inevitable so the best we can do is learn our lessons, love our people, show compassion for other humans, and keep moving.

My year has been awesome for a lot of reasons. I scribbled them in my trusty notebook a few weeks ago and i’ll write some here..

I gave up alcohol 6 months ago and feel great! There was a time when I worried that I wouldn’t be able to do that ever and I am very pleased to know that I can and did.

Went to therapy and learned so much

I gave myself up to the universe and tried to embrace change.

I’ve given up trying to control things that were not my business or job to control.

I have found another one of my kindred souls? I don’t really know what to call them because friend is too light of a word for what my group of lifers should be called. People I’ve found and collected through my life who feel like they’ve been with you in this life and others before it and will be found again in lifetimes after this one. Whatever they are, welcome to the club adam! I’m glad I stopped giving you the evil eye long enough to see you.

What to say about my husband? We have been on a journey since the day we met but this year has been the best year yet. We knew that at the base of everything there was love. We dug inside ourselves and each other and it wasn’t easy. Cutting yourself open and exposing everything is done out of pure desperation for something better and in the end we found it.

The best thing about this year was finding me. I lost myself along the way somehow as people often do. I turned into someone else for reasons I am not sure of and really what does it matter? I’ve embraced who I am without regard to anyone else. I am an empathic introvert. I like staying home. I like my small group of friends. I like writing words and hearing stories. I like being in nature. I prefer animals over humans. I like yoga because it’s like a warm salty bath for my mind.

In the next year I will continue to say yes to the things I want to do and just say no to the things I don’t and I will follow my happiness always.

Happy New Year friends.