In the past 6 months I’ve pulled back from the impostor who had taken up an unwelcome residency inside of me. I didn’t have the intention of doing this and I didn’t even realize at the time that I’d lost myself somewhere along the way.
I’ve decided that for the entire next year I am going to do only what I want to. I don’t know if it’s an experiment or really what to call it. I think the best thing I can do for myself is try to follow my happiness and embrace the classic introvert that I am. I don’t know why I’ve been trying so hard to fight who I fundamentally am. I don’t have to be the best at socializing! I’m giving myself permission to not go to parties, or host parties, or be in any place where lots of other humans are no matter how wonderful they are.
I like the people who are in my life just fine and whoever still stands at the end of this year (or lifetime) probably just really belongs in this weird little world with me.
I’m curious to see what changes for me by finding myself and allowing myself the freedom to live and do just what I want. I’ve realized that in the last three months I’ve created a new space that has opened my mind and allowed the words that have been so stuck for so long to just start pouring out. I hope the more space I find and the more of myself I unearth I can shape this rambling notebook into something coherent and with purpose.
Thanks for reading this, liking my words, being my friend, and understanding that I am a weirdo.
candrasquire.com 
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