Just Am

There is a quote often attributed to Buddha and I have no idea if it’s actually from him but it’s something I think about a lot.

I am not what you think I am. You are what you I think I am.

I think about this in terms of projection and mirroring. If someone is bothering me I’ll try to figure out why, I think about this quote and I see if something about them hits on a truth I have about myself that I don’t like, or if am I being judgemental because I think I know better whatever the case may be I try to figure it out so I can let it go.

I was thinking about this quote this morning because there is a person in my life who I’ve never been able to figure out how this applies. The things I think about this person are certainly not true of myself. This person expects a relationship with me that I am not able to give for many reasons but the truest bottom line is that it does not bring me joy.

I am kind to this person because that’s all I can offer without being inauthentic to myself. I cannot engage with someone and pretend, I’ve tried for other peoples sake and I just can’t do it. It makes me miserable. I don’t like to be around miserable people and I certainly won’t be one and because I excuse myself from the relationship it’s mistaken for hate. I don’t hate anyone, I am not angry or holding on to grudges though that is projected onto me from this person and relayed to anyone who will listen.

So,

I am not what you think I am. You are what you I think I am.

How does this relate to this relationship and then I got it. We are all humans struggling through trying to figure it all out. I don’t need to label or judge or justify to anyone not even myself. It doesn’t matter what I think anyone is, THEY JUST ARE! The same way I JUST AM!

Here’s the thing, we don’t have to do ANYTHING we don’t want to do. We do not have to have anyone’s approval or blessing or permission. It reminds me of another line I think back on often, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? If I don’t feel happy being around someone no one is holding me hostage and making me be there.

Here’s what I know: be kind, follow your joys, accept your sorrows, learn the lessons and repeat every day that you’re given.