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Stand Alone

February 22, 2017

Think of something you lost recently. What are two positive insights you gained from the experience. #startwhereyouare

Friendship. Losing a friendship is a hard weird place to be. If it wasn’t you that backed off you wonder; rack your brain for shit that you could have done or something stupid maybe you said. You replay things in your mind trying to find the source of the rift. You get irritated at new people who come into the picture who may be hindering your closeness with your friend. You are FUCKING LONELY. You miss sending them a text that says something like “MY NAME IS ANDREW BERNARD AND I WAS WITH A GROUP CALLED DUNDER MIFLIN!” and having them acknowledge it and maybe follow up with some other dumb quote.  You miss hearing about their shit and telling them yours. You feel lost when you realize you can’t just call them and say let’s walk because it’s weird now and you don’t know what to talk about.

I know now that people come in and out of your life to teach you certain things you’ll need to know throughout your journey. Some people stay for 100 years and others maybe only 10 minutes and the goodbyes are fucking terrible usually. When a relationship ends it’s best to sit with it and think about the lessons learned. Once you see the purpose of the relationship was it’s easier to let it go and be thankful for the lesson and grateful for the human. Like the different lengths of the relationships, the time it takes to sit with it and figure it all out alway varies greatly.

Losing a friendship forces you to step back and look at who you are without your sidekick. Sometimes our sidekicks make us stronger, louder, sillier, but others they make us meaner, more narrow minded, and shitty. Once that person is gone you have to stand alone and see who you are and make adjustments if necessary or realize you’re strong all on your own and you don’t need anyone else to help you stand.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. SDC permalink
    February 27, 2017 10:06 am

    This just happened to me. Still contemplating wtf happened almost overnight. Even the remnants of whatever we were are like, “…uhh, okay?” Complete mystery.

    • Candra Squire permalink*
      February 27, 2017 11:12 am

      It’s so hard not to overthink. Have you read the Four Agreements? One of them is not to take anything personally. That shit is hard though.

      • SDC permalink
        February 27, 2017 11:21 am

        No, I haven’t! Yeah that’s the one I have trouble with because sometimes it actually is *very* personal! No two ways.

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