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Cloudy

August 22, 2017

The one thing I almost always have are words but right now I feel like they have abandoned me. Gone on to another human who can remember thoughts or ideas. I can feel the words wandering around and sometimes they even bump into each other and grab on creating a partial thought but i suppose the story forming just isn’t ready yet.

My mom got sick very suddenly last week and on Saturday it was time to check her into hospice. I don’t really have a clue what I’m doing so I’m just trying to show up. I wanted to let people know what’s going on because some days the shop might be closed randomly or I might forget to text or email back. I am trying to balance everything and keep things in order but sometimes it feels like I’m constantly bumping into the intricately laid dominos causing them all to scatter.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. SANDRA HELTON permalink
    August 22, 2017 4:12 pm

    I like you am speechless yet these words are for you…It happened so fast, i can’t imagine what you must be going through but i do know how difficult it is as it happened like that to my dad, except he was given 6 months. I used that time to be by his side day and night when they couldn’t do anything else, with the hope that he would get well and above that, that he would know and receive Jesus as his Lord and Savior, I am thankful for the bit of time left i had with him because before he left us , my dad asked Jesus to be Lord and Savior of his life. He went to be with God 3 days later and even though it changed me in a big way, I had the assurance that I would meet with him again one day and it would be a most happy reunion. I was angry about him leaving me but by the grace of God, I was able to heal and continue my journey. I met you when you were a child, i really wasn’t much older then you and I always remember you having a beautiful soul just like your momma, you were so eager to help and fill the need. I know that things have been very difficult but from the prause your mom gave me about you, you must know that even with your differences, she was so proud of you, in my hearing she had nothing but praises for you. I thank you for taking the time to reach out to us, and I bless you for that as well because losing a parent is not something we can ever be prepared for so please know that what you are going through is valid and your expression is amazing, thank you for posting because it helped me to process as well.

    • Candra Squire permalink*
      August 22, 2017 4:24 pm

      💜 thank you.

  2. Dianna Downing permalink
    August 22, 2017 4:35 pm

    My heart goes out too you. I lost my Mom in 2 weeks in 1998. To this day it’s painful, some days more than others. I miss her so much. The only thing you can do is deal with one day at a time, and give the rest to God..Prayers for you and your Mom..

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