a day o ladies

Today I had we had a lady day with candles and sex toys. It was a good time. Ladies why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we force each other to have these at home parties? We can buy candles and lube at target, we don’t have to get independent consultants to come demonstrate. We don’t need to force our families out so we can clean the hell out of the house. We don’t need to make a million snacks and force our dogs to stay in the basement. We can get the same shit while grocery shopping. It makes no sense. NOBODY wants to go to a partylite party. No one wants to spend 97 bucks in candles so our friend can get .47 worth of merchandise for free. Still we do these things. We force everyone we know to come. We act proper and buy our candles and pretend we don’t know we’re supposed to trim our wicks and no burn unattended. Women are a strange breed.
Sex toy parties are a whole different animal. I get it, we all like sex toys and some people don’t want to go to the store to get them. Here’s what I don’t get, why do women giggle at penis’ like they have never seen one? My group is a little more open but here is what a normal sex toy party with 40+ year old women is like….
Group of ladies giggling. Bring out the vibrators and it’s a crazy mess. They laugh so hard at the stupidest little jokes. They ooohh and aaahhh and think they are so “bad” for this. It’s hilarious. Just once I want to see one of these ladies simu-blow job on one. That I would laugh at.
After the festivities a bunch of us sat outside and froze until we realized we were all sitting around the fire pit with no fire. So finally we lit the fire had some sweet cokes and some nice pizza.
It was a pretty nice little Sunday. Bought some candles, some business from Pure Romance, found out way too much about the Squire women (thanks a lot alisha!), had some quality time with my ladies, and some tasty snacks. Good times ladies, good times.