party party party

so i have this neighbor who brings her kids over every night to swim. I don’t mind but i really can’t be hanging out every night, i have things to clean and laying in my bed with AC and watching house hunters to do. Her oldest is a 5 year old boy who is really annoying. He has asbergers or how the hell ever you spell it and I get it, it’s not his fault but I don’t even like kids. Especially not ones who throw handfuls of driveway rocks into my pool and then splash me with water and then spit their big wad of bubble tape gum to the bottom of the pool. So I go outside today because I didn’t even say hi yesterday and we chat chitting which is truly painful for me and she mentions that today is her birthday and she bought herself some zima. (frat boy chanting PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY) and that she is going to drink alone because no one is home. So I ask if she has ever had a mojitos, one of my favorite summertime drink o roo’s. She said no so I made us each one and let me say they were good. And I mean real good. We’re sitting, sipping, getting splashed and she says, by the way, Im 3 months pregnant. Well fanfuckintastic. I just encouraged fetal alcohol syndrome. She strikes me as really like a by the book girl so this was weird. She said she hardly drinks at all but she is craving alcohol. Im sure a few drinks won’t hurt the baby, but it’s not something that I have ever done so it kind of weirded me out. I can see the alcohol slowing starting pillowing into her blood and she then proceeds to tell me her kid is going to be horny like his dad (who is now on his 6th kid with a 3rd lady) because everyday he wakes up with a full on boner and recently in the bathtub he pulled the skins from around his little man and said look mom, an airplane.
It’s just another day on 7th St. and Sackett.

Mojito (Mo-He-Toe) Recipe
Shot o Rum
Lime
Simple Syrup
Fresh Mint
Club Soda

Muddle the mint, some real sugar, the lime and rum together. Dump in a sweet glass, top off with some club soda and take’ er easy.