im weezer

have you guys ever seen Steel Magnolias? Welp today I realized im weezer. The cranky old lady trying to control her giant dog. Every morning on the way to work I make Gus stay in the backseat, otherwise he sit on the console and puts one of his arms on my shoulder and lounges. He is too heavy. Another charming thing he does is when he is mad at me in the car for either throwing his butt ass in the back or taking something away from him that he wants to chew on he sits right behind me and barks. He is a 5 month old lab with a HUGE resonating man bark. It drives me crazy, so by the time I get to work I have had it. Then as soon as I stop the car and try to get my shit together to get out of the car he has already jumped in front and is trying to crawl over me to get out. I have to scream like a whack job at the dog and then try to get out. He barrels out and starts running but he is on a leash so either it breaks my fingers or he drags me along like he is flying a kite and im just flapping in the damn wind.
When we finally get into work after Gus takes a poop in the church yard next door, he immediately goes to each garbage can trying to see what he can find. I got the garbage cans with the locking lids so he trys to knock them off. I have found him with a lid necklace before. After he checks that out he just digs around the office picking things up and trying to see if he can get away with chewing it. His newest aggrivating thing he likes to do is crawl his giant dog ass up on to the wine racks and sit up on them.
All day long you can hear me yelling at this nutty dog to get down, stop jumping, get out of the garbage, and stop drinking out of the toilet.
Damn it Gus.