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maybe im retarded

October 15, 2008

because i don’t know if this is my theory or this is a well known thing.
I was thinking about how they say women hit their sexual peak in their 30’s.
Is it because of all the crazy hormones? It has nothing to do with women in their 30’s feel comfortable in their skin, they are settled they are this or that.
It’s because we are damn crazy people.
I have noticed in the last couple years that I have really bad PMS. I want to kill everyone during that time. I also notice that when im ovulating I am all about going to town.
It’s not us women wanted to have sex with our raggedy men, it’s our damn bodies tricking us into doing it so it can get pregnant. When time starts coming to a close for our baby making days thats when the hormones kick in full force and try to pregnant it up. This takes place in our 30’s. See where Im going here?
We don’t want to have sex with you, our uterus just wants babies. Even if we consciously don’t want them subconsciously our hormones are saying, oh your man is looking particularly handsome today, don’t you want to get you some?
Then we think, oh yeah I do want to get me some. Then you get some and you’re feeling good until you look at the calendar and realize for the love of god it’s my fertile day. Then you spend the next 2 weeks in hell waiting for your trusty period to come, trying to will it so. Ok god, I swear if I get my period I will never have unprotected sex again, better yet I will never ever have sex again. Just please don’t let me be pregnant.
2 weeks later…
Sweet Mary Mother of god, I got my period!! Thank you lord jesus christ I will go to church on Sunday.
3 weeks later…
You fuckin retard, we’re breaking up cause your ugly and I can’t stand your ass.
1 week later
He looks handsome, Im going to get me some.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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