that sound? oh it’s just my stream of urine.

Listen, I don’t even like to talk on my cell when I am in a public space much less a public bathroom. People just plop down next to me all the while talking on the horn like nobody can hear every vibrating word or the person on the other end of the phone doesn’t hear the toilets flushing.
Today the girl next to me was on her phone and she sits down to pee and it sounded like goddamn niagara falls and she’s talking to her boyfriend who is WAITING DOWNSTAIRS. She had to tell him right then while she was peeing, i love you, i’ll see you downstairs. Come on ladies.
I don’t think guys do this unless they are holding the phone with their shoulder. I don’t think they’re doing that. Hey dude, listen to this stream. Probably not.
Listen, I pee on the phone when im at home so I guess its not really the peeing on the phone i have a problem with. I just don’t understand why I have to listen you you tell your boyfriend what your plans are for the day. Im trying to pee can we just do it in awkward silence interrupted by the occasional fart followed be me laughing at whoever just did the sit down and fart move?