Captains bLog Day 1- Renner and Candra do las vegas

I went to sleep at 11:30 last night and took forever to fall asleep. Just when I did Mr. Squire comes jollyassin into our bedroom at 1am from a show trying to tell me his new jokes. No sir Im not talking now. I had to get up before 4am to get to Las Vegas. We had to go to Chicago first which sucks because it’s still 4 hours to Vegas and we had to spend time getting to stinkin Chicago. Anyway on our Flight to Vegas I had the window, Renner had middle and this big old stinky dude had aisle. The man smelled like a brewery and it was 7am. He smelled like alcohol mixed with straight stank and for some reason he was wearing odd ball hugging shorts. After he drank a bloody mary he passed out and snored loudly. We had to wait for him to wake up from his drunken coma so we could go to the bathroom.
We got to Vegas and made the journey to the rental car place where we were given a prius for some reason. We were so excited but we couldn’t figure out how to open the back hatch or even how to drive it. It’s a very weird space shuttle like ride. We panicked in the payless parking lot because we couldn’t get anything in the car to work or drive- turns out that bitch wadn’t even on.
We went to Target to get some breakfast foods so we don’t have to spend a million bucks a day and I was in the cereal aisle when this little old gnome of a man ,who was wearing Bluetooth oddly enough, stopped in front of me, did a crazy little dance and said that’s all you get for these prices!
So then we jammed around the strip gambled some money and ate dinner outiside at the Paris.
On the way back to our hotel renner had enough of people being in her way and slammed into a lady waiting for a tour bus that wouldn’t move and the jacked the lady forward and since I was behind her I almost peed my pants. Then Renner saw a Captain Jack guy just hanging out and she paid him a dollar in sweet coin to be able to take a picture with him.
We’re super tired and renner got us movie tickets for 11:30 in the am. Yeah she’s making me see Twillight. Oh and the Comedy Festival is going on this weekend! Yea! A lot of good guys are here so we’re going to try to catch a show tomorrow.

Welp time to lay in this sweet ass bed they got here at the Treasure Island.