not so good

Things are feeling not so good in my world. I feel the blackness teetering upon me again and I don’t know if it’s wintertime that does me in or what the hell.
I have a story I’ve been trying to write for oh almost 5 years now and I still have nothing. Everytime I try I just delete.
I need some good voodoo. I need some New Orleans and some nyc. I need some something.
With every year that passes I think, this will be the year that things change and it never is so im going into this year with no expectations or hopes. It will be just like every other year.
Im pretty sure my new bartending job isn’t going to work out due to scheduling conflicts. Bill is always gone so I have no one to watch the kids. In feb I am going to be in las vegas for like 2 weeks. It’s just not going to happen. I liked that crazy place too. 😦
I don’t like feeling lost and that is completely what im feeling right now.