damn it old people

We need to have a standardized test for old people on modern technology before they should be allowed to use it. Old people do not understand the internet or cell phones. And you know what else, it just doesn’t look right, them using these things. I would be less shocked if an old lady actually pulled out one of those regular old timey home phones with a rotary dial than if she pulled out a blackberry.
If an old person does have a cell phone and it rings its always the same routine. They dig it out of the belt clip they’re wearing and look at it and say, I don’t even know how to turn this thing on. Oh and forget the shit out of texting. Im pretty sure my dad doesn’t even know how to check his voicemail.
Now let’s talk about the internet. They have no business having an email account if they have to ask me what spam is. You can’t just be sitting there pressing all the buttons on a keyboard and not know what you’re doing. They can’t be allowed to google things. What if they type in BEAVER and a naked lady comes up? Then they’re going to be asking all kinds of questions.
Also they always use pc’s cause they’re cheap and then end up with all kinds of problems. Don’t call me and ask how to clear everything off because it won’t stop freezing and saying low memory. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with your angry looking windows piece of crap. Stop pressing all the buttons.
Another thing is they don’t understand nigerian scams. If they get an email saying they are getting a shit load of money but they have to pay 25k to get it, they hand over the 25k. Then there goes all your inheritance to some african dude who then uses it to buy old umbro shorts.
All im saying is let’s make them take a test. Is that wrong?