ALRIGHT ALREADY 16 Random Things About Me

I have been tagged many times so fine I will write the 16 things about me which seems just a little silly considering I write almost daily about myself.

1. I love when the sun is shining but I don’t like it on me. I don’t want to look like a handbag. But I never use sunscreen because some really sick part of me likes to be tan.

2. I love the smell of a tent.

3. Somewhere in Oregon I realized I really enjoy a good brewery beer.

4. I love to travel but I can’t sit still on vacation. I have to be able to explore somewhere and then get on the road to a new place. Staying in one town is torturous.

5. I love to see wildlife in it’s natural habitat. I saw a whale jump in the water from the road in Oregon once and I made Renner pull over so we could run to a cliff and wait to see it again. Then when Renner found a tarantula in Nevada I made her keep it there until I could run down the mountain to look at it. It was seriously the highlight of my trip. I am more excited about natural tarantula than I am about casinos, nightclubs, or high heels.

6. When I get mad or excited in anyway I have a high pitched shrill voice.

7. I adore my job because it allows me to sit in an office with minimal contact with humans but when I have to travel and talk to people I think about “falling down” the escalator so I don’t have to wear real pants and make small talk with strangers.

8. I always loved watching stand up comedy until I married a comedian.

9. I hate horror movies because I get too nervous and then for the next few nights I have to turn on all the lights and run to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then when Im sitting there peeing I start thinking one or all of these next 3 things. 1. monster is looking in the bathroom window at me. 2. monster is hiding in the shower. 3. if I look in the mirror monster will be behind me.

10. I hate shopping for many reason but one big reason is because I freakin hate getting in and out of the car especially when it’s hot or cold. I do not want to have to get out and walk 25 times. I hate when I sit down and then I have to pull down my shirt because my coat is pulling it up and then my bra straps fall down and I have to dig through 75 layers to pull them up, then I have to find somewhere for my heavy ass purse then I realize the keys are in my pocket and I have to find those then it makes my shirt pull up again. Forget it im going to target, my one stop shop for shampoo, new pants, cheese and toilet paper.

11. new york city is my favorite place to wander alone.

12. I have worked in a hospital as a nursing assistant and seen all you can see, I have dug into the insides of humans in a cadaver lab, I have held a human brain in my hands, I have birthed 3 children, and taken care of old people as a home health aid, but damn it slobber makes me gag. Im not talking about baby slobber, Im talking grown up human slobber. Anything dealing with oral issues or suctioning people out with an inability to swallow turns my stomach.

13. I love haunted houses but every damn time I go in one I am truly scared because I think that this is going to be the time that a crazy murderer is using the haunted house as a front for the real operation he is running which is pulling out my guts and then chopping me up with a chainsaw.

14. I have had acrylic nails for 6 years now. I can’t give it up. I hate my regular nails and they’re horrid looking because I bite them. I even bite my fake ones and the Vietnamese people who fix them really hate me. When Im a nurse, Im going to have to find a job that will let me keep them and when Im in clinicals and can’t wear them I will find a way to make them look like real nails because those bitches can’t break me.

15. I love the shows threes company and mels diner, but I could watch Roseanne forever.

16. I always knew I was weird because I could write things I just couldn’t say. I thought it was just a social disorder which it actually might be, but once I realized that I was a writer it all made sense.

I don’t want to tag people to write 16 random things, I want to tag people to find out what they truly are. I am truly a writer its who I’ve always been. I want to know what you are.