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If you don’t shut up im leaving your ass at target.

March 1, 2009

My kids drive me bat shit crazy. Skylar is the loudest screaming ass kid I ever heard, Fallyn is mostly delightful but when she gets mad she is relentless in her quest for justice and jezalyn is the biggest instigator I have ever met. J is lonely so when she wants to hang out with her sisters instead of being a normal human she will figure out what it is she can do to really get under their skin. Maybe it’s open their door and running away, maybe it’s shutting the bathroom light off on whoever happens to be in there whatever it is she is a master. This causes Skylar to scream at the top of her bloody lungs or for Fallyn to whoop her ass which then in turns makes j scream and come and tell me. They constantly fight. Every single time we get in the car someone gets mad about who is in the front seat and whoever is in the back generally kicks the back of one of the front seats. All this madness makes a parent come up saying some crazy shit. When they were smaller I would tell them I was going to take them to the MEAN MOTHER’s and drop them off. I got this one from my dad telling me when his brothers and sisters were driving my gramma crazy (there were 9 freaking kids in that family by the way) that she would put them all in the car and scare the shit of them by telling them they were going to the mean mothers house. One time I was driving with my kids somewhere and I don’t remember what was happening but i know skylar was out of control screaming and crying and I pulled over on the side of the road, opened the door and told her she had to get out. It scared her ass quiet. I mean there is only so much bull shit a person can handle. Im not a big fan of hitting them because it just makes me feel bad but they have gotten the occasional ass whoopin. My mom used to chase us with the wooden stick. How do kids know when you’re on the phone with someone you can’t yell at them in front of? This is when they chose to act the biggest fools. Then you get off the phone and have to tell them to get in the car, to mean mothers we go. Another time Skylar was about 5, she was in kindergarten and she was so mad about something and she told me she was moving out so I took that child put her out the backdoor and locked it. She stood there and cried for a few minutes until she realized shit, I either have to apologize or I have to find a job.
She apologized.
Today at Sears I realized that I am not alone in this. I saw a mom carrying a crying toddler and heard her say to him “i don’t play games like your father!”
Then I saw a dad and 2 little boys walking and they wanted to play with some basketball game and they were asking a million questions and he said “i don’t know and I don’t really care!”
Then I saw another guy with some kids and he said “god damn can’t you all stand still for one minute?”
It made me feel better. If you ever feel bad about yelling at your kids go to sears and watch all the other parents who want to kill their children as much as you do.

By the way, whoever is searching for Melissa Medsker – I got my eye on you.

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