Stop touching the fucking cactus 

It’s funny how life will never let you ignore anything. We try to try to feel like we are in charge and in control when in no way is that true. We can fight, hope, kick, scream, and drag our feet as much as we want to, we can turn our bodies into dead weight like dogs do when they do not want a fucking bath but, in the end, we will be forced to answer the door. 

The knocks get louder, the pain gets worse, the grip we feel around our throats tightens and tightens some more until we pay attention to whatever we are being shown. 

No matter how many times I’m shown the truth I have an amazing ability to think, nah that’s not it. It can’t be. I may actually be the best in the world at this game. 

I like things that are authentic and people who are real. I hate knocks offs. Stop pretending you’re one thing when really you’re lying. If you’re not reclaimed barn wood stop being made to appear that way. There is real barn wood out there for the taking, do the work and go dismantle the barn instead of just putting a bunch of shit together and saying hey look! I’m reclaimed barn wood!

I’m still learning to follow my feelings and trust myself. I think simple is best, if something doesn’t feel right then it’s not. You don’t have to try to beat a feeling into submission to make it match up what your brain thinks it should be because that’s like trying to make jello a dessert. It’s just never going to be.  

If something doesn’t feel good then stop doing it right?

NOTE TO SELF: stop touching the fucking cactus expecting it to not prick you this time. Just because something looks fuzzy and soft doesn’t mean it is! Also apply this knowledge to animals as well. Just because that tiger looks like he wants you to cuddle him and be his best friend he really just wants to maul your body and rip out your innards to leave as a gift for the person he really loves.