Happy Anniversary

Well Bill Squire and I have been married for 7 years today.

(Yeah, technically, since neither of us ever bothered to legally do anything about it, but still, 7 years.)

I hate when people say failed marriage. I guess I just don’t think anything is a failure if you learned something from it. We aren’t together anymore but in another sense we are. We are still trying to figure out our new family dynamic, still committed to BEING a family & raising these kids together and somehow he still feels like a safe place for me to land when the shit is really really bad. To me, there’s just no way that’s a failure.

I think most of the time when people get married they really have no idea what they’re agreeing to. When I married Bill of course I knew there were issues but the one thing I really knew is that I didn’t want to spend another day not calling him my husband and being his wife.

Over time it becomes very easy to see how people grow apart. Life gets busy and you keep thinking ok next week will be slower and we can do something but pretty soon all those long talks and walks and fun things you used to do that connected you are pushed aside and the only thing you talk about is what’s broken, what bills have to get paid and what kid peed in a bowl and shoved it under their bed.

You stop seeing each other and you feel lonely. I don’t think the love is lost I just think that people forget where to look.

Life is never going to slow down, there will always be dishes in the sink and the dog will have always left a shit somewhere for you to clean up but all those things will still be there while you go for a walk with your person and remember what the hell it’s all for. The life you built for yourselves exists just as it is because you didn’t want to spend another day not being your person’s husband or wife. I hope you slow down just a little today and remember to remember that.